Yet another coma.

I have just come out of a fucking coma. I was told that I jumped off a four story building. I am not sure why on earth I would do such a thing. I am no longer a paramedic. And of course while I was in a damn coma I couldn't pay the rent...so I have to find a new home. I am becoming extremely violent. Skylar is pregnant. This is good of course because the housing problem is settled. Her house is small but oddly spacious. I wonder what we should name it. Joshua is a cool name but what if it's a girl. I don't think I could handle a girl. All that pink stuff and dolls and shit. The setup is all messed up on this computer. I can't believe these places don't update to something higher then Windows '97. It's bad enough that they're using Windows. So...um...my Ipad broke so I have to use the shitty computers at libraries and restaurants. I have literally nothing else to say. My head seriously burst open like a watermelon on the pavement. I don't like watermelon. I look dumb. I am always trying to look okay but it's sort of hard to do with a plate built into my skull. I wish they would've taken a picture of my brain. I've seen my share of brains but it still wouldve been interesting to see my own brain. It's also quite hard to type with this damn cast on my slightly more dominant left hand. My eyes are red now. Kilos. Seven. Hurt. Moon. Love. STUPID. HATE. ANGER. PAIN. DIE. THE END. I don't think I'll be writing on here as much as I used too.

My stalker

I start my work as a paramedic tonight. I work the night shift. I will be working 48 hours a week. I get $21 an hour. It's a fairly easy job. Write down lots of stuff. Prep them for the hospital. And most importantly make sure they make it to the hospital alive.

So I got a text from a random dude today (I have no idea how she got my phone number) she said, "I've been watching you," always a great attention grabber. "Meet me at Starbucks @ 12:12 PM." So I'm meeting her before work today.

So I walked to Starbucks. I got there at 12:11 so I had a minute to order and find somewhere to wait. So I sat down with my latte and waited. I began wondering if she meant a different Starbucks. She showed up at 1:23. I was quite pissed that she was so late.

Meet my stalker...
Height, 5 ft. 6 inches
Weight, around 120 lb.
Eye color, brown
Hair color black
Age I'm guessing around 19-21

"Are you Gabriel?" She asked me.

I thought she had been watching me...shouldn't she at least know what I look like.

"I sometimes go by Peter, Sylo, or Samuel, but I am also Gabriel." She sat down at my table.

"I'm Skylar." She extended her arm to me.

I wasn't about to shake her hand if that's what she wanted. She was late, and no handshake could change that. So she put her hand down.

"So why am I here again?"

This better be good. I have a strange feeling sex is in the equation. She is pretty hot.

"No reason."

"There sure as hell better be a reason."

I got angry and kicked the table leg.

"I thought you wanted human connection."

Well well well...my stalker knows something about me...so shocking....NOT.

"Yes." I said in the I'm listening tone.

She felt the bump on my head and then she started kissing me...she's an excellent kisser. We kissed for awhile, but I was getting out of control so she pushed me away.

"Where should we go?" She acted like we needed to hide.

I didn't see the problem with Starbucks but I figured my apartment was just a couple blocks away anyways.

"My place." I almost always do this sort of thing at my apartment. It makes me feel in control.

So we walked to my apartment. We walked into my apartment and I couldn't control myself any longer. I pushed her inside and kissed her all over her face and neck. My head hurt like hell but that just added to the pleasure. We went to the bedroom. We undressed. I pushed her on the bed, I got on top and we kissed more. We had sex. It was probably the best sex I've ever had. God she was good. I was feeling sleepy...it isn't that sex wears me out...it just has a strange effect on my mind...or something like that.

After that we just laid on the bed. I fell asleep. I could feel her get up and I jolted awake.

"Hey sleepyhead." She said.

I could hardly see her it was so dark.

"Let me guess the power went out again."

"It would appear so."

I had another three hours before work.

I tried to stand up but I got dizzy and fell like a total dork.

"Holy shit. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine just a little dizzy that's all."

I stood up slowly this time.

I walked to the kitchen and got candles. I used to torch phone booths with these candles...ah the good old days. I lit them and brought one to Skylar.

"Don't you have a flashlight?"

"Nope."

I put my candle on the bedside table, and flopped on the bed. I stared at the ceiling trying to make sense of the dots. I was really bored.

I noticed she was staring at me. So I put on my charming smile and stared back. She smiled.

"I'm going to get something to eat. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen."

"Thanks."

We went to the kitchen and I ate some raw eggs and ice cream. And she ate some leftover pizza. I was tired again...yawn (don't tell me you just yawned).

So we kissed some more and watched some TV. I put my arm around her. She leaned on my shoulder. I want her really bad. It's really hard for me to control myself when I get urges. I didn't know what to do though. She turned towards me and we kissed and had some more sex. I had to get ready for work.

"I have to get ready for work."

"Okay."

She changed into my shirt...I'm not sure why girls do that.

I changed into my paramedic uniform.

"You look sexy." She said.

"That I do."

I grabbed my bag and opened the door.

"Don't forget to lock up." I told her.

"I won't."

I left and headed for work.

Work was boring...not that I expected it to be fun.

I couldn't stop thinking about how pathetic my life sounds. Seriously my life is lame. As a psychopath I'm supposed to think I am awesome and invincible...but really I feel empty inside...and altogether worthless.

I'm not sure if 'normal people' do any of this or what...but I'm pretty sure I don't care if I'm 'normal' at this point.


Gabriel Jaro.

Daniel has left me...Seven...and stupid hearing aids...

I broke my hearing aids. I take my showers with the lights off, and I forgot to take them out. So I hopped in the water and got a electric shock in my ear. My ear was beet red...aren't beets purple?

I met a stray dog today. His name is now Seven. Seven is a brown/black belgian malinois type dog. He is extremely vicious which is a quality I look for in animals. He bit my leg and I got him a steak. He's hanging around our apartment complex now. He doesn't bite kids of course. He keeps licking their faces though. He is a new addition to my boring life. I'm thinking of getting him a spiky collar.

Tomorrow I'm going to start work as a paramedic. I hope my partner meets my very high standards. I'm hoping Slade gets to work with me from time to time. He seems to be an easy target.

Ah yes...Daniel has officially left my life. He came to my apartment yesterday while I was messing around with a renter. He was pissed. And screamed, "I HATE YOU GABRIEL!!! YOU ARE THE MOST SELFISH BITCH ON THE PLANET!!!! I CAN'T HANDLE DRAGGING YOUR SORRY ASS AROUND ANYMORE!! I'M SICK OF YOU!!!" His face was red...indicating anger or embarrassment. He slammed the door and left. I wasn't sad he was gone. I just went back to screwing around with my renter. I don't understand people. I don't care if he comes back.

I'm not sure why but this entry didn't get posted yesterday as it should have.


Gabriel Jaro.

My twisted family.

My family. Lets start with my mom.

My mom (Tracy Huntley)...our dynamic and frankly quite complex relationship. I'll start off by saying my mom tried to kill me multiple times when I was really little hence the hate formed. My mom was a musician she was gone all the time and when she was home she would always yell at me. She wanted me to be a great person (such as a lawyer or president), but my grades were bad and I didn't want to be someone great. I just wanted to be an artist. She never accepted me. I still loved her though she was the only person I could talk to. Then she became a prostitute, and things went downhill again. She would come home crying all the time. She would come in my room and hold me. I was her comforter. Then one night she didn't come in my room so I walked around the house. There she was dead on the living room floor in a large pool of blood. I wasn't scared instead I just stood there looking at all that blood.

My real father (Jakob Kiliko)...I didn't really know him that well. He was a doctor he was gone all the time as well, but when he was home we would do lots of fun things. We'd make forts, go to the park, play catch, go swimming, and he'd teach me stuff about the stars. He would tell me lots of stories. I loved him. One day we were going to make a huge jungle gym in the backyard so he went to the bank to get some money for the supplies. Then the thieves came in and were about to shoot a girl when my father took her place. He died leaving me his fortune.

My fake father (Werner Lois)...he was my least favorite person. He would beat me, drown me, starve me, rape me, and cut me every night since my mom had died. He would sometimes bring other kids to me and make me rape them. I liked the sex but I hated being pushed around. I accidentally killed a little girl once. My father made me push her around. I pushed her hard, and she whacked her head on the wall really hard and died. I didn't mean to kill her. I slowly approached her... "I'm sorry," I whispered. The blood oozed from her head. At that moment I realized the monster I was becoming. So when my father left I searched the house for a weapon. I found the gun in his closet loaded it and sat by the door waiting for his return. He came home and BAM he didn't know what hit him. I shot him in the stomach so I knew he would suffer. I watched the life drain out of him. Then I went into foster care.

My grandmother on my moms side (Mrs. Huntley)...well since I just met her there's not much to say. She's 64, lives in Missouri, I remember her being at the funeral and that's about it.

My sister (Eden Mercy)...I don't remember much about her. I loved her a lot. She was smart. She was murdered....yep that's about it.

The number beside each name indicates which foster family they're from.

My foster (3) brother (Nick)...um he's in his late thirties. He runs a hobby store. He's aways been moms favorite. He has a wife named Dana and three kids...a boy and two girls I think.

My foster (3) sister (Alice)...She's in her early forties. She works at a sewing shop. She has two sons and three grand kids...or maybe four.

My foster (2) brother (Mario)...Max and Mario are seven year old twins who love video games.

My foster (2) brother (Max)...Max and Mario are seven year old twins who love video games.

My foster (2) sister (Ava)...she's a teenager who is overly popular. I'm not sure why but people adore her.

My foster (2) sister (Angel)...she's in her later teens. She's going to college.

My foster (2) sister (Angelina)...she's 17 I think. She always acts like her life is sooo hard. Trust me it's not hard she sits around all day pretending to be working.

My foster (2) sister (Matilda)...Matilda is 4. She's my favorite from this family. Whenever I tried to hold her everyone would freak out and say something like this, "Mom Sylo's going to hurt Matilda." I didn't want to hurt her I just wanted to hold her. She is beautiful. She calls me Slylo.

My foster (3) brother (George)...I have never met him.

My foster (1) brother (Peter)...he's always been my favorite foster sibling. He is nineteen. He used to share an apartment with me. We would do crazy stuff together. We Skype occasionally. He is a navy seal right now so I don't see him as often as I'd like to. When he does come back we have a great time though.

My foster (1) sister (Sarah)...she's in her late twenties. I hate her a lot. She used to make fun of Peter a lot. She would make fun of me as well just because I killed her cat. I hate her so much. I never visit her of course but I think she has one kid named Travis.

My foster (1) mother (Mrs. Grey aka Mo Mo)...my ultimate favorite foster parent. She was always nice to me, but more importantly she excepted me for who I am. She would punish Sarah for making fun of me and Peter. She loved me, did everything right, understood me, and helped me. I don't think I deserve her love and affection.

My foster (2) father (...?)...he was always so angry at me. He made me go to a church every Sunday and Wednesday even when I was sick. He would get mad at me for no reason. Punishment was a week in the cellar. I got punished for many reasons some dumber then others. I didn't sing in church and that was the main reason for punishment.

My foster (2) mother (...?)...she was ok. In my eyes she was just a way of getting food and shelter. She didn't have any time for me. She always wanted me to be something greater then who I wanted to be. Why can't people just except me?

My foster (3) mother (Mrs. Jaro)...eh...wavering between ok and good. She never liked me. Nick was always first for everything. I was the leftovers...the scraps no one wants because they're too full of themselves.

My foster (3) father (Mr. Jaro)...he died a week before I came into the picture.

In family 2 I was Sylo. In family 3 I was Samuel. In family 1 I was Gabriel. When I'm feeling angry I like to be called Sylo...I'm not sure why they named me that. I hate being called Samuel. Gabriel is as good as anything.

Pain. Money. Jobs. And to top it off family I didn't know were still living.

Pain. I like pain. I like to feel pain and lots of it. Pain is what makes us human...without pain I would be even more lost then I am right now. I really really enjoy pain. I like cutting myself, and sometimes I like to torture myself. I think about different ways to hurt myself a lot. I'm getting better at containing myself, but sooner or later I'm going to snap.

I'm officially tumor free as of yesterday.

Money. I payed some medical bills today. My funds are pretty much unlimited so I can hurt myself whenever and pretty much however I want to. I have $276,376.58 in the bank and around three thousand at home. It helps to support my somewhat reckless habits.

Jobs. I currently have three jobs, artist, paramedic, and I occasionally rent myself.

I think you know enough about my job as an artist.

I'm starting work as a paramedic this Saturday.

Normally when I get rented it's for sex but other times it's for...okay yeh it's pretty much just for sex.

Today I got rented by an 64 year old lady. She wanted a fantasy to be fulfilled. So I accepted her offer and got to work. She wanted me to be tied up unclothed and have ice cubes all over my body. Sounded easy enough to me... especially since I can't feel cold.

So I undressed and she tied me up. I forgot to tell her where to get the ice cubes. So I untied myself and put my pants back on so I could go get some. There is an ice machine downstairs in my apartment building.

I grabbed the bucket and got in the elevator...which barely works. There aren't any stairs that you can walk on due to construction. So I went down one floor and a young lady joined me in the elevator. She kept looking at me. I suppose it was because I didn't have a shirt on. I'm not sure what the big deal is with people.

RRRRRRRRKKKK....CRASH...WHRRRRR.

The elevator was stuck.

"Great." She said.

"Are you new in this building?" I asked her.

"Yeah I just moved in today."

"I'm Gabriel."

"I'm Jasmine."

I was thinking about taking advantage of the situation and perhaps 'welcome' the new girl, but then I remembered I had a renter upstairs.

"Well Jasmine do you by any chance have a pen?"

She gave me a what the hell are you going to do with a pen look (yeh that look). After a couple seconds of digging in her seemingly bottomless purse she pulled one out.

"Yeh, here you go."

She handed me the pen. I pulled the inner doors apart and pushed on the latch mechanism with the pen and the doors opened up. I pressed the stop button. We were stuck in between floors but there was enough room to get out. So I crawled out and gave her a hand getting out.

"Where did you learn to do that?"

"I've lived here quite awhile."

"Well maybe sometime you could teach me a few tricks." She flirted. "I'm in room 23."

Then she kissed me and walked away.

I rubbed the lipstick off and got the ice.

"Now to get back up."

I walked outside and climbed the up the fire escape to my room. I put the bucket beside my bed.

She was still here...I suppose she can't leave what with the elevator breaking down. So I undressed again and she tied me up. I was covered in ice and she just sat there watching me. I was a bit creeped out. The ice was slowly melting.

Then she got really close to me and felt one of my many scars. She kept running her fingers up and down my scars. It hurt a lot but I greeted the pain. I grinned devilishly.

"I knew you were him." She said. She untied me.

"And who am I?" I asked. My voice sounded weird.

"My grandson." She replied.

"What's my name?" I played along. I put my pants back on.

"Gabriel. You've changed your last name so many times I'm not sure which one you go by...I think you're going by Jaro now."

"What do you want with him?" This was getting awkward and weird.

"I just wanted to see him."

"And somehow you thought renting him was the best way to do it?" I grabbed the coffee on the bedside table and drank some.

"I wasn't sure it was him."

"And how do you know I'm him?"

"You have the mark."

"And what mark might that be?"

"The birthmark on your stomach."

I have a birthmark that looks like the Red Cross logo and another one on my foot that looks like a swastika.

"So I have a birthmark big deal. That doesn't prove anything."

"How about this?" She handed me a picture.

She is my grandma. I thought that she died...that's why I went into foster care.

"So what do you want?"

"Like I said I just wanted to see you."

"Why?"

"Because I miss you." She started crying.

What the hell is going on around here.

"Okay so you've seen me. Now what?"

"Now we talk." She wiped away her tears.

I really wasn't sure what to say.

"Where do you work?"

As if it wasn't obvious...hmm easel in the living room paint supplies everywhere paintings scattered all over...where on earth could he work?

"I'm an artist."

This was not cool not cool at all. People think they can just waltz into my life and pretend they give a damn. It's down right aggravating. I clenched my fists to keep my anger in check.

"Any family?"

"Just me and my foster families."

"Any girlfriends?"

Oh here we go...a chance to cause more tears and shit.

"Nope. I have a boyfriend though."

She didn't react the way I thought she would. She just smiled at me. I was considering putting my shirt back on, but in this situation I just felt better without it. I wondered what to say next. I walked to the fridge. Shit we're out of beer or any other kind of alcoholic beverage for that matter.

"Can I interest you in a beverage? We have mustard, water and milk."

"Water's fine."

I think you've had plenty of mustard...I smirked at the thought...inside joke...I think? Maybe you'll understand...if you do you either know me too well or you're smarter then the average bear. I've got an idea though if you think you understand this joke post your ideas in the comment box thingy that's way down at the bottom of this extremely long and dull entry.

I looked in the cupboard for a cup or a mug...nothing.

"Bowl or plate?"

"Bowl."

So I got her a bowl full of water. I'm not sure where all the cups went. I didn't think she deserved a cup anyway.

I laid down on the couch.

"So Gabriel how long have you been addicted?"

"Excuse me?"

"How long have you been a sex addict?"

This was just plain old intrusive.

"Since I was ten so about thirteen years."

I soooo badly wanted to kick her out.

"Your mom would be proud."

"I'm sure she would be." I wasn't sure where that came from or which thing she was supposed to be proud of but at this point I didn't really care.

I loved my mom but I hated her too...it was a complex relationship. My mommy issues are one of those to be continued things...so maybe another time I shall explain this dynamic relationship. Maybe...tomorrow?

"I have to go." She said abruptly."Here's my card."

Huh...Mrs. Huntley.

"Bye." I said.

She walked out the door. I remembered the elevator wasn't working.

"Hey, the elevator isn't working so you'll have to go down the fire escape."

She came back to my room and crawled down the fire escape. I imagine it looks a lot like Santa crawling down the chimney...but of course I wouldn't know what that looks like.

I had three more renters today.

Girl A. Wanted me to lick cool whip and chocolate syrup off her.

Girl B. Wanted me to pretend I was a cop who was punishing her with sex for breaking the law...this one seems WAY TOO COMMON (it's right up there with the firefighter trying to put out the girl who's 'on fire')

Girl C. Just wanted sex with no strings attached.

No gay or bisexual dudes today.

I'm just glad Daniel doesn't mind me having sex with random strangers even if he did mind I still would do it just because I want to.

We'll see if I put that in tomorrow's entry or not...I'm betting not...but maybe.

Good morning...it's fucking four o'clock and I can't get to sleep worth a damn I tried the exercises but nothing seems to work. I just called Kevin but of course I didn't get an answer. I am soooo fucking tired. My eyes are really heavy...but I can't close them. I wish I could. I took my sleeping meds and they did absolutely nothing. Then when I do get to sleep I'll wake up miles away.

Good morning...

Gabriel Jaro.

That's about it.

What just happened

Well some of my posts have been reverted to drafts...I'm not sure how. So the Me coming out post should be quite a few days ago...but it got moved be because I republished it. This blogger app is not the greatest.

Me coming out...and my Vacation.

So Daniel came early to help me cook and get everything cleaned up.

"Tell me about myself." I told him. We were trying to cook a blasted turkey. I don't even like turkey it's so dang bland but Daniel likes it so I thought I'd help.

"You get angry easily but you can be a sweet and caring person. We met in college you were my roommate. You are my best friend. You've been giving me drawing lessons in exchange for me helping you sleep. You used to be a paramedic. You have scars from your dad beating you when you were little...and that's about it."

I put the turkey and stuffing in the oven. I turned the timer on.

"How do you help me sleep?" I asked. I don't like being confused (don't ask me who does).

"Here I'll show you." I think he was trying to seduce me...it was kind of working.

So he led me to the bedroom and pushed me on the bed. It was coming back to me now. In college we used to do this every night. He would push me on the bed and we'd kiss he would take off my pants and I'd undo his pants. We would have sex until I fell asleep. My sleeping meds never worked for me so I had to take matters into my own hands.

"This is great." I said mostly to myself.

Ding dong!!!! Ding dong!!!!!!!

"Oh shit, it's probably my dorky cousin." I said angrily, "I'll get it you get dressed."

I made myself semi presentable and looked through the peephole. Whew it's just a client. I opened the door.

"Hi, I was just wondering if the drawing I ordered was done yet."

"I shipped the Batman one off last week but I still have a little bit to do on the Bane one."

"You're welcome to come in and sit down while he finishes." Daniel said generously.

"Hi, I'm Daniel."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Kyle."

"Come on in I'll go finish it," I said.

I told Daniel in sign language to entertain him while I finished. He clearly got the wrong idea because when I came back with the completed drawing they were having sex on my couch.

"How many times have I told you Daniel no sex on my couch." I scolded him.

They went straight for the carpet. Meanwhile I finished cooking the turkey and the stuffing.

I was a little jealous so I joined them. I walked in without anything on except my socks and a hat. They were all over me within seconds.

RINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! RINGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

"Sorry ladies, duty calls." I got up and answered the phone.

"Alex's flight was cancelled," I said rejoining them.

"Too bad," Daniel said sarcastically.

Lunch was done so we sent Kyle home.

"He almost forgot his drawing," I told Daniel after Kyle had left.

I rubbed my aching head and scowled.

"Are you ok?" Daniel asked me.

"Yeh...yeah I'm fine."

"Okay." He said, "Remember you can talk to me about anything."

"Yeah I know." I said, "Where do we keep the Advil?"

I had a really bad migraine.

"It's back isn't it." He said worriedly.

"What's back?" I said confused.

"The cancer."

"No the doctors would have told me."

"Whew...you almost gave me a heart attack." He loosened up a bit.

"Yeah," I said in agreement. I had completely forgot the Advil at this point.

"Let's eat!" He gave me a knife so I could cut the turkey like tradition.

I sliced through it gracefully.

"Looks good."

"It better look good because you're going to be eating the leftovers for months," I joked.

"I don't mind." He said.

I grabbed two plates gave him one and put some stuffing on mine. I'm never really hungry Daniel on the other hand is always hungry. It's not like he's fat or anything he's the normal weight for his age I guess he just has a big appetite.

We sat down at the table and then relocated to the couch. I turned on the TV. I was so so so tired. I finished eating and chucked my plastic plate away and got two beers from the fridge. I sank back into the couch and handed Daniel a beer.

"Daniel."

"What Gabriel?"

"I'm really tired." I leaned against his shoulder. I couldn't get to sleep.

"It's ok Gabriel you get some rest I'll clean up." He is so sweet.

"It's not that.....It's just I can't fall asleep."

"Just close your eyes," he whispered in my ear.

"I can't." I said angrily. I stood up and walked to the bedroom. I dropped on the bed. Daniel walked in. I looked at him and gave him a pitiful look I was dying for a nap.

"Are you sure Gabriel?" He said. Doubt was in his voice.

"Just do it."

Daniel did as I requested and I fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up with Daniel laying beside me. He has such beautiful dark blue eyes. He looked at me and smiled.

"You're awake." He said.

"I guess so. What time is it?"

"It's around five."

I looked at him for a little while longer. Then I got up and put my cargo pants and my black shirt on.

"What do you think about Chinese food?" Daniel asked.

"Sounds delicious."

"Great I'll go pick some up."

He knew how to cheer me up. This guy is good...maybe too good. I sat in front of an empty canvas for a little while.

"Hey Daniel!" I yelled. Drat he'd already left. I grabbed my keys and ran down the fire escape. I jumped when it was about a twenty foot drop. I landed on the garbage and ran towards his car. Stupid neighbors stared at me from their balconies.

"Daniel!"

"What now Gabriel?" He said getting out of the car.

"Let's take my car."

He grinned and I handed him the keys.

"Why aren't you driving?"

"I can't." I said trying not to sound glum.

"Oh." He tossed me the keys and hopped into the passenger seat of my car. He couldn't wipe that grin off his face.

I hopped in the drivers seat.

"Some rules were just meant to be broke." Daniel said.

"I couldn't agree more."

We took off. Chinese restaurant here we come.

Daniel kept playing with the radio.

"Your radio is broke."

"Did you turn it on?" I pressed the on button and it came to life.

"Oh."

We made it to the Chinese restaurant without getting pulled over...so shocking....especially since I'm not fit for driving...I don't understand why I am not legally allowed to drive I'm a great driver.

"I've got to go run an errand I'll be right back." I dropped him off and went to a hobby store.

Since the manager is my foster brother I get 30% off.

I walked in.

"Hello and welcome to The Hobby Store!" My foster brother said.

"Hey Nick."

"Gabriel! I didn't recognize you with the haircut." Nick said.

He wrapped his arm around me. It was a bit awkward so I moved away.

"How have things been?" I asked.

"Not bad business has been booming the past few days."

"I bet."

"Where did you get your hair cut?"

"Oh, my boyfriend cut it a couple weeks ago."

"I see." I clearly hadn't told him I was bisexual.

"Gabriel, mom says you haven't returned any of her phone calls." He said seriously.

"I have been busy." I was a poor excuse of a son. "I'll call her right now."

"The phone's in the back if you need it."

"Thanks." I started walking away when I remembered I didn't know her number. "Hey Nick. What's her number?"

He sighed and told me her number.

"Thanks again," I walked to the back of the store. I dialed her number no answer.

"Um...hi mom this is Gabriel. I know I haven't been answering your calls lately but I was in a coma and I've been working hard to get my license. So as soon as you get this call me. I got a new phone number so here it is...(my new phone number)...I want to visit sometime this week...so please call me back. I hope I see you soon. Bye."

I can just picture her listening to that message and thinking what does he want now...but to be honest all I wanted was to be close to someone.

I bought a ton of supplies and went to go pick up Daniel.

"Sheesh. What the hell took you so long?" Daniel hopped in the front seat.

"Nick wanted me to call my mom." I headed home.

"And...?"

"And I did."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing she didn't answer."

"Oh."

"I left a message though."

"We should visit her today." He suggested.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking."

"We could make her some paper flowers."

"She'd like that." To tell you the truth I was scared that she wouldn't accept me for who I am.

"What's bugging you?"

"Well...it's just I haven't told her yet."

"Don't sweat it. I'll handle it."

"I don't know. Nick didn't take the news so great."

"Just relax it'll be fine." I hoped he was right.

"Okay." I said reluctantly.

Daniel was making a few paper roses from my supplies. I turned around and headed toward my mom's house.

"So how long has it been?" Daniel asked.

"Since what?"

"Since you've seen your mom."

"Since I moved out."

"Whoa. If I was your mom I'd be ticked."

"Well thanks but I think having two moms is hard enough I don't think I need to add another ticked off mom to the list."

"How often do you see your mom?" I asked him. As soon as I asked I remembered his mom is dead.

"I'm sorry Daniel. I just remembered."

"It's ok." He was about to cry so I pulled over.

"Daniel, I'm so sorry."

Daniel got into a car accident about a year ago and his mom and sister died at the scene.

"You didn't know."

I'm really bad at comforting people. I grabbed his shoulder.

"We could visit them today if you want." I was really hoping I could cheer him up. He was always there for me so why can't I be there for him.

"I think I'd like that." He wiped away his tears and continued to make the paper roses.

"I should visit my sister."

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"I didn't know either."

"Where does she live?"

"The cemetery...I'm not sure which one but I'd know it when I see it."

"What was her name?"

"Eden Mercy Grey."

"That's a pretty name."

"Yeh. That was back when I was Gabriel Dexter Grey."

"What's your latest name?"

"Well my mom calls me Sam and Gabe a lot. So for now I am Samuel Gabriel Juro."

"Ok. So should I call you Gabriel still or Sam?"

"Gabriel."

"Ok."

"Welcome to the Juro house Daniel." I said as we pulled into the driveway.

"It looks haunted."

"It is." I said seriously. The look on his face was priceless.

Knock knock knock....

"Mom, it's Gabriel please open the door."

"Just a minute." I heard her frail voice.

She opened the door.

"Sam is that you?" She hugged Daniel.

"He's Sam." Daniel said pointing to me.

"Hi mom."

"Come on in boys."

She opened the door wide. We went inside and sat down.

"So Sam what have you been up to lately?"

"Mom I'm Gabriel."

"Of course, Gabriel."

"Why does she call you Sam?" Daniel whispered to me.

"My brothers name was Samuel he was her favorite kid. He died a long time ago so she calls me Sam to make his memory live on."

"Oh."

"So who's your friend?" She acted like I was still a child.

"Mom this is Daniel. Daniel this is my mom."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Juro."

"It's good to meet you to."

"Warum ist er hier (Why is he here?)" my mom asked me.

"He's my boyfriend mom."

She looked shocked.

"What just happened?" Daniel asked confused.

"I just admitted to being bisexual."

"How's it feel bro?"

"Great actually."

Mom was crying.

"I love you mom, nothing could ever change that."

"Mrs. Jaro I know how you must feel, but this is who we are we can't change." Daniel added to the drama.

I walked over to him.

"I'm leaving! I can't handle people acting like we're aliens!!!" he shouted.

"I am not getting rid of you that easily." I said. I came close to him touched his hand and then hugged him really tight.

My mom stopped crying and looked at us like we were human again.

"You guys make a cute couple." She said with tears welling in her eyes.

"I love you mom." I walked over to her and gave her a big hug I was quickly joined by Daniel.

I remembered we had food in the car. We dispersed and sat down again.

"I'm going to go get the grub."

"I hope your hungry cause I bought extra." Daniel said with a smile.

I got the food. When I came back in they were laughing their heads off. Daniel you are too good for me. I smiled at the thought of us. I set the food on the table.

"Come and get it."

"I'm starving." My mom said.

"Me too," Daniel said.

We sat down around the table and ate.

"So where do you work Daniel?"

"I'm currently employed at a barbershop."

"Hey mom, I've been meaning to ask you something..."

"Well out with it."

"Where's my sister buried?"

"I was wondering when you'd remember."

"So you knew about her and you didn't feel the need to share!"

"Don't raise your voice at the table."

I walked away from the table.

"Why didn't you just tell me?!??" I was beginning to think I could trust anyone anymore.

"Because I didn't know!!" She shouted and broke into tears.

"Mom...mom I'm sorry." I was always trying to please her. "But I need to know the truth."

"You've earned it." She handed me an address.

We stayed and talked for awhile but Daniel had an appointment tomorrow early in the morning.

It was too late to go to the cemetery so we headed to my apartment.

"That was fun." Daniel said.

"And what was so fun about that?" I yawned.

"I met your mom."

"If you think that's fun you should meet my dad."

"Maybe tomorrow. I'm exhausted." He flopped onto my couch.

"Daniel...Daniel...you can't fall asleep yet I need you to help me."

I can't sleep without you...how poetic.

I carried him to the bed.

I felt really bad for having to do it, but it's the only way I can sleep.

Sleep came after a couple minutes.

Nightmares

I've been having really bad dreams lately. They are quite weird actually. I wake up sweat drenching every inch of my body. I'm soaked in it right now. I have just woke up from a dream. This is what happened in my dream...

I was eating waffles at someone's house.

"Good morning honey." Someone grabbed my shoulder.

I was now outside in a street. There was no one anywhere.

"Hello?" I shouted.

No answer.

"HELLO!?!?!!!??"

There was a small boy sitting in the street. His back was turned to me.

"Where am I?" I asked the boy. I approached him rapidly.

I grabbed his shoulder. He shattered, the blood bursted, guts poured out. It was like a strange special effect. I couldn't help but smirk at my handiwork.

The blood looked rather inviting. I was going to cover myself in the warm fresh blood, but when I touched it it turned to dust.

I looked around there were missing person flyers everywhere. They all had my picture on them.

I walked toward the flyers and now I was on the edge of a bridge.

I sat down and dangled my feet off the edge. A little girl sat down next to me.

"You should do it." She said plainly.

"Do what?"

"You should jump with me."

"Okay." I grabbed her hand.

"One...two...three...blast off!"

We jumped.

I was now in a coffin...underground.

"Help!!! Can anybody hear me???"

No answer.

I kept banging my fist against the coffin.

"I NEED HELP!! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?!?!?!" I shouted with everything I had.

I was running out of oxygen...and of course I didn't have my inhaler.

I was now in a hunting shack.

My innards were spread across the carpet. My entire body was chopped in half. Blood was all over. There were human heads on the walls and a stuffed baby that was in a crawling position. I couldn't move. At least this one was better then the last one.