It's a new year...and I am going to get a kid...and maybe a new job...

According to my shrink I need to broaden my social horizons and get different 'types' of relationships like friends, girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband, but the one she stressed the most was child. She said that getting a kid would be a good way to learn to better express my emotions and it would make me more responsible and more importantly I would have to give up the majority of my sex life.

Sounded good to me so I went online and filled out a survey to find a suitable child based on the time I'm willing to spend, my experience, and personality. A couple kids popped up on the screen. I really liked a girl named Belinda. She's 11 and has green eyes, brown hair, and a killer smile. She likes running, playing catch, Star Trek, watching movies, Heroes (too awesome), technology, gaming, Peter Pettrelli, Spock, ice cream, pizza, and playing piano.

She's like totally perfect. I arranged a meeting thing with her. This might be a way to change myself at last.

I called Mo Mo (Mrs. Grey...my favorite foster mom) to ask her some questions about me but she didn't answer. So I left a message and told her to call my cellphone when she got it.

I was at a fire scene today. I asked if anyone was still in the fire.

"There's a girl still in there!" A younger lady shouted.

I ran into the building. It was about to collapse so I ran as quickly as possible. A huge board from the ceiling flew down and almost knocked me in the head.

I found the girl. She looked like a piece of charcoal and was having trouble breathing (duh). I picked her up and ran swiftly through the building and back outside. I got her onto a stretcher and another paramedic helped me lift her into the ambulance. I hopped in the ambulance and the other paramedic hopped in and I shut the door. We drove. We prepped her for the hospital.

"Do you work at the hospital?" He asked me.

"Nope."

"Well thanks for helping out, I'm Slade."

Slade is an awesome name.

"I'm Gabriel."

"So where do you work then?"

"At home, I'm an artist."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Well believe it or not I do. I used to be a paramedic though."

"What happened?"


"It's a bit complicated. I was at a fire scene there were two people in the building so I grabbed one and helped him out but left the other person behind thinking I could go back in and get her. I walked out with the man but he wasn't a man he was a hallucination. So I was considered unfit for duty and they fired me."

"Do you have schizophrenia?"

"Yeh but it isn't that bad. Roughly ten times a year I see a hallucination."

"That's not bad at all." He said. "You should become a paramedic again."

We arrived at the hospital and brought the girl to the ER.

"Where do I sign up?" I asked Slade.

"There's paperwork on the front desk."

"Thanks."

He went back to work and I filled out the paperwork. I have the song When You're Evil stuck in my head...I started humming it...people stared...I didn't mind. I gave the receptionist the completed paperwork.

"We'll call you if you get the job." She said.

"Okay thanks."

I left and started walking home. There was a car crawling beside me. It was just Slade.

"Hop in stranger." He said with a smile.

"Thanks."

"Where are we headed?" He asked.

"Um...what time is it?"

"About one thirty."

"Shoot I'm late." I told him my shrinks address.

"Late for a shrink appointment...you are dead."

"That I am."

"What's your excuse going to be?"

"Hm, I am sorry I was late...but the world needed saving."

"Nice."

"Yeah."

We got there surprisingly fast. Gwen was waiting for me by the door.

"I wish my shrink was that hot." Slade said. "My shrinks a fifty two year old man."

She was okay looking...but certainly not hot.

"Yeah, and thanks for the ride." I got out of the car.

So I go into my shrinks house...and there's a bunch of pictures of me all over the place. It was a huge timeline of my life covering every inch of the walls.

"Who's your friend?"

I ignored her question...all these photos. I was interested as to why she was so obsessed with me. She must have been stalking me since I moved into my apartment. So it couldn't have been because she was my shrink...because she certainly wasn't my shrink back then. She had some of my artwork as well.

"What's all this?" I asked her confusedly.

"It's your life." She said excitedly.

"Well I got that...but why?"

"Because I needed to know more of your backstory."

"Why?"

"Because when I analyzed your video I found that you weren't expressing anything...you were a blank slate."

"So?"

"So clearly sex triggers a flood of emotions for you and I wanted to know what those emotions were."

"So let me get this straight...because I didn't express any emotion you think there was a flood of emotions."

"Exactly."

This was garbage. I sat down in the lazyboy, reclined, laid on my side, and closed my eyes.

"So Gabriel, do you want sex right now?"

I just laid there not moving, not talking, I just laid there thinking. After awhile of this I sat up to look at the clock...this is almost over...I don't think she's a real shrink...what kind of a shrink strips for her clients...yep she was stripping...right in front of my view of the clock.

I thought about what I might gain from this. Often times I think of how certain actions will benefit me. So I thought about it and decided a course of action.

"I'll have sex with you if you sign papers saying I'm fit to be a paramedic."

"Of course baby."

How repulsive...she called me baby...now that's just disturbing.

I took my shirt off.

"And don't call me baby, babe, or Gabe."

She started taking my pants off. I pushed her on the couch...how old does she think I am???? I'm sure I'm old enough to take off my own pants. I took off my pants. So she was really bad...not bad in a good way either.

I started kissing her and she just looked at me weird.

"Don't stare at me like that...I'm not a monster." I told her.

"I wish you were." She said sexily back.

"Well I'm not."

This was not a pleasurable experience at all. She wasn't even a little bit good...not even a sliver. I suppose shrinks don't get laid very often but still.

My stitches were coming undone so I stopped.

"Don't stop now." She said. Man alive she is horny...it's gross.

I got up and put my pants back on. She grabbed my arm. I freaked and whipped her arm away.

I didn't know what had gotten into me. I was angry but normally I keep it under control. So I left and then went back and grabbed my shirt. I walked to the park and did a bunch of flips and tricks on the monkey bars. It was interesting. A bunch of ladies took videos and said they were going to put them on YouTube so I've been watching out for those...I have to make sure they didn't get one of me failing the double backflip and falling on my ass like a dork. I even got asked for my autograph which I found kind of strange but I gave it to them anyways.

Then I went to my apartment and surfed the world wide web for a couple hours. Then I did my laundry and read four books. And then I ate microwaved pizza and fell asleep while watching TV.

Lately lots of stuff has been going on. Hence I didn't finish this entry yesterday like I should've but whatever. I don't think it makes a difference when I post stuff because whoever reads it has to be almost bored to death anyways. So goodbye.

Gabriel Jaro.