My visit to the shrink...and my car.

Woke up on a park bench. I don't know how I got there but somehow I did. It was about 11 miles

back to my apartment so instead of walking I decided to call Amber. She didn't answer of course. I

looked at my watch and it was 11:47 AM. This is not good. I caught a cab and he took me to my

apartment. I walked slowly up the stairs.


My apartment door was open...I immediately thought the worst. I entered slowly and cautiously.

Amber was on the couch watching TV.

Amber, "It's about time you got back."

Me, "You weren't worried or anything?"

"No you were just going to meet with a potential client."

"I just woke up on a park bench. What time did I get up?"

"About 7 o'clock."

"Oh great. It's back." I said to myself.

"What's back?"

"My sleeping issues. I have an appointment with my shrink today."

"Ok I'll drive you."

"No I'll walk."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah his office is next door."

"Oh ok." She said it in a weird tone that I couldn't quite read.

So when the clock struck 12:00 I left. I was always on time for things like this. My shrinks name is

Kevin. I have no idea what his last name is.


Knock knock knock.

"Kevin it's Gabriel, please answer the door."

He always tests me with the door. Whether in patience or manners he always tests me with the
door.

"Your score for today is 83%," Kevin said while opening the door.

"Thank you for letting me in," I said politely.

"Your welcome, Gabriel."

I sat down on the long couch.

"Well Gabriel, how are you doing today?"

"I woke up on park bench."

"Oh I see...so do you think it's back?"

"Yeah that's what I'm afraid of."

"It's ok to be afraid Gabriel."

He says my name a lot I think it's supposed to make me feel secure or something.

"So how was your birthday? Did you have anyone over?"

"It was the best one I've ever had. I didn't plan on anyone coming over but this girl from Subway came over."

"What's her name?"

"Amber."

"Do you like Amber?"

"Of course I do."

"That's good. I am sorry it's late but happy birthday Gabriel."

He handed me a weird looking animal. I am pretty sure it's a ferret.

"Ouch." The stupid thing bit me.

"Here I'll get you a bandaid."

The blood looked warm and inviting as it trickled down my arm. I licked it off so it wouldn't go

down my shirt. Ew blood tastes gross.


"Here," he wrapped my arm up in a bunch of gauze. "I want you to take care of him. Feed and

water him twice a day. Here's some ferret food and his cage."


"I don't know about this, I've never been good with animals."

"Well nows as good a time as ever."

"I suppose. What's his name?"

"That's for you to decide."

"I think I'll call him Preston."

"That's a nice name. Wasn't that your first hallucinations name?"

"Yeah."

"Keep a log of what happens to Preston how he behaves and acts."

"Ok."

"So what else has been going on?"

"I met Amber's mom."

"I remember meeting my mother in law for the first time. I was extremely nervous."

I could tell he was trying to get me to tell him how I felt.


"Same here. I wasn't sure she would like me at first but she really liked my artwork. She liked the

one of me I was stupid and told her it was me, and of course she asked what happened to me. So

I told her everything and then everyone started crying. I said I was ok and hugged Amber but then

I started crying. It was really weird."


"It's good you're expressing your emotions and telling the truth. It seems to me that you're

becoming more and more capable of empathy."


"And then I went for a walk and told Amber I loved her right before I had another asthma attack.

And of course I left my inhaler at home."


"Did you mean it?"

"Of course I meant it what kind of a question is that?!" I got mad real mad.

"I am sorry Kevin it's just I have a lot going on right now." I said trying to calm down.

"It's ok Gabriel no need to apologize. I had no right to ask you that. Is Ryker back too?"

"Yeah."

"Have you been taking your meds?"

"Not meds again. Those things make everything go bizzark."

"How so?"

"They make it hard to think, I get huge headaches, I hear things, I stutter, and my hands get shaky

so I can't work."


"I see have you told your doctor about this?"

"Yeah, he just says, 'There's no other medication you can take so you'll just have to live with it,'

genius doctor genius. And of course then I get to pay $200 for that useless visit."


"Nice. My doctor was the same way that oh well attitude. Anything else been going on?"

"I had a stroke and a concussion and spent the night at the hospital."

"How did you get a concussion?"

"I fell from the stroke and whacked my head on the sink. Hence I am wearing this weird looking hat."

"I was wondering about that."

"Well now you know. I also went to Pizza Hut for the first time."

"How was it?"

"It was good I had two of those bread things."

"Breadsticks?"

"Yeah those. Amber called the carte a menu which I thought was dumb."

I don't know why but he started chuckling.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. Have you tried anything else new? Or learned anything else?"

"I laughed at a joke on TV."

"That's great, see you are making progress."

"Yeah. Looks like our times up."

"I'll see you next week Gabriel." I started walking out the door and then remembered to grab Preston.

"Remember twice a day."

"Ok I'll remember have a nice day Kevin." I said and shut the door.

I hope Amber is still here cause I forgot my keys inside. Knock knock knock....

"Who is it?" She shouted over the TV.

"It's Gabriel open the door."

"What's the password?"

"Let Gabriel in."

She opened the door. She didn't act surprised that I had a ferret.

"Amber meet Preston. Preston this is Amber."

"Hi Preston it's good to meet you," she took him out of the pen and pet him.

"Be careful he bites." I showed her my cut.

I got two little Tupperware containers, wrote Preston in permanent marker and filled one with
lukewarm water and the other with food.


"Here's some water Preston." I put the dish in his pen. He gulped it down.

"Oh and here's your food," I slid it to the corner of his cage.

"How did your appointment go?"

"Ok I guess."


I sat on the couch and fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up again at 3:47. A rerun of Heroes was

on TV I really liked that show and then stupid NBC cancelled it. It was the episode where Sylar

(Gabriel Grey) becomes partners with Bennett, and then Bennett asks the other guy with powers

to make Sylar disappear. The other guy says, 'I'm not going to be a monster' and then makes

himself disappear in a portal type thing. Claire (Bennett's daughter) gets really mad at Bennett. I

knew the episode by heart so I turned off the TV and went to the kitchen. Apparently Amber left.


"What should I make for dinner?" I asked Preston.

I gave him some time to think about it.

"Yeah I'm fresh out of ideas as well." I said.

"I think I'll make some ravioli," I said mostly to myself.

It normally takes two hours to make. So I started right away by getting out all the ingredients. Then Ryker made an appearance...it went something like this...

I turned around because I heard a noise. Then I heard it behind me again. I turned around and Ryker was two inches away from my face.

"Good god Ryker you can't just go around scaring me half to death."

"To late I just did."

"Y...y..you n...ne... need to leave me alone."


Ok your probably somewhat confused so I shall explain. Ryker is a hallucination. He is a human

hallucination. He looks a lot like Spock from Star Trek 2009 except his eyebrows are thinner and

his chin is a little different. He's been with me since I was seventeen (before the movie was

made). He gives me advice and can sometimes be really annoying. Because it's kind of hard to be

normal when you're talking to someone who isn't there. It's harder to focus when he's with me so I

stutter a lot. And that's pretty much all you need to know for now.


"Why would I do that?"

"B...because I n..n...need you too."

"Oh come on I'm just trying to have a little fun."

"Well ggggo have fffun somewhere else."

"What's been eating you?"

"I'm tttrying ttto cook. Nnnow llleave me alllone."

I heard the door close.

"Gabriel is that you?"

"Yyyes. I'm cccooking in the kkitchen,"

"Gggo away Ryker. Nnnow." I whispered to him.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah everything's ffffine and dandy."

"It smells delicious."

"It tastes even better." I said.

"Is it almost done? I am starving."

"Yep just six more minutes."

I went to Preston's cage and filled up his food and water dishes again. It's actually quite easy

taking care of a pet. You give it food and water and clean out its cage every once in awhile.

Sounds easy enough to me.


"I have a car," I said randomly. "You can drive it if you want."

"Really?" She acted surprised again...I seriously don't know why.

"Well I figured we might as well drive in style. It's the silver 2009 Camaro Lt outside." I tossed her
the keys.


The ravioli was done I took it out of the oven.

"Maybe when we're done eating we can take it for a spin."

"This is so awesome!" She squealed.


We ate fairly quickly I gave Preston the leftovers and grabbed my coat. That ferret will eat

anything.


She was too excited. All we were going to do is drive. I guess it's probably because my car is

awesome when compared to her 1998 Volkswagen Passat or any other car for that matter.


So we went outside and I showed her my car....she flipped. I made sure everything was in working

order. While she kept hugging my car it was kind of creeping me out so I gave her back the keys.

She sat down and fumbled with the keys.

"Thank you thank you thank you!!!!"

I still don't get what was so exciting.

"Your welcome," I said coolly.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

So I did see until I fell asleep again.

"Gabriel, Gabriel wake up."

"Huh what. Why is it so dark?"

"It's dark because your hat is covering your eyes."

"Oh duh." I pulled my hat back up. "I know this place....this is my old house. How did you know where I used to live?"

"My dad told me."

Great just great her dad is my freakin shrink...why didn't I see that coming.

"Let me guess your dad is Kevin and you're both trying to mess with my mind."

"Why would I want to mess with your mind?"

"I don't know publicity maybe...I don't know!" I was getting mad.

"Calm down...I just thought you might want to help me tear it to the ground."

"You know I do."

She had axes in the trunk, gasoline, matches, a hose, man she came prepared. I couldn't have

done it better myself. She must have stopped at her house before coming here. I grabbed an axe

and walked through the small door to my room. I had a flashback of my mom tucking me in at

night in her scant clothes before she hit the streets. I broke a whole into one wall and walked

through it into the kitchen. I remember my father beating me with the broom because I burnt the

food a little. I got angry broke down two walls and kept walking I moved into the living room. I felt

like Hulk always angry. I remember my father raped me for the first time here. I remember he

always took videos and pictures of me. I stood in the middle of the room my anger boiled into rage

I rammed my axe through the wall again and again and again. I stood there for awhile crying.

Amber walked in...


"I'm sorry..." She said.

"Let's burn it." I said determined to see the end of these horrible memories. I think that burning it

down symbolizes the end of my old life...and the beginning of my new life...my life with emotions.


I went outside got the hose hooked up soaked the ground around the house to avoid a wildfire.

Went back inside drenched the building in gasoline. I made sure Amber was a safe distance

away. Then I lit the match and walked away. The house blew up into flames.


I got in the drivers seat rolled down the window and said...

"Need a lift?"

She laughed and got into the passengers seat.

It was my first time driving in six years. It felt like I was in charge of my life. Like I was in control.

Now I see what's so exciting about driving....you feel free.

We drove around town for awhile but I just wanted to lay down.

"Where do you live?" I asked Amber but she was sleeping so I called Kevin.

"Where does your daughter Amber live?" I asked smartly.

"How did you figure it out?" He asked.

"It was really quite simple actually you both have extremely rare deep green eyes. I just had to be
sure before I said anything."

He gave me the directions. I scribbled them down on my hand.

After a couple wrong turns I found her house. I pulled up into the driveway and parked. She lived
in a small house bigger then my apartment of course but small for a house. She should lock her doors I thought. It had four rooms a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen and a living room.

I went to the car and carried her inside to the bedroom. She woke up of course.

"Shhhhh...just go back to sleep." I said soothingly.

I laid beside her and thought about everything. I thought about how my life sounds like a pathetic book. A boy from a tragic home meets the girl of his dreams and her parents like him and they live happily ever after...I hope.

I felt like a new person like I just killed my psychopathic self. I don't know if this feeling will last
forever but I sure as hell hope it does.