I think I'm in love...but I kind of ruined it.

The moment Foster heard the door crack open he was off and running at a hundred words per minute. "Hey, Gabriel, can I come in? I know I didn't leave a note and I know it's late but I really need to talk to someone and there's no one else I can talk to and-"

Somewhere in the midst of his babbling I had opened the door fully, and Foster almost knocked me over, he was so eager to get inside. "Oh, shit, sorry about that, it's just can't sit still no matter what I do, I jogged around the block a couple times maybe three or four or five, I can't even remember now, and I've gone up and down the stairs twice and I can't seem to calm down no matter what I do, so I thought I'd come see you and how you were doing, you doing okay? You look a lot better than you have lately, lots calmer or something like that, maybe there's something to that meditation thing you do-"

"Foster?" I interrupted him, raising an eyebrow. I hadn't moved away from the closed door yet, taking his motormouth in with a worried expression. "Are you okay?"

"I- No, I'm not, I think, uh..." He stopped himself from saying any more than that. He surged forward, wrapping his arms around me giving me a bone-crushing hug.

Usually Foster didn't go any further than a light peck on the cheek or touching my hand, and he certainly didn't go any further than a friendly arm over my shoulders.

I remained tense for almost a minute before I began to relax, my arms tentatively looping over him and hugging him back. I was fighting to keep my voice even when I spoke again. "Foster...?"

"Thank you," he breathed, burrowing his head in one of my unmoving shoulders, his breath leaving him in shaky little gasps in between his words.

"I...I do not understand," I stuttered, but I made no attempt to escape from the embrace. I slowly molded myself into Foster, leaning into the contact.

He cradled my face in his hands, angled my face downward, and kissed me. He cradled my lips against his.

There was another surge of tension in me, one that he could feel the moment our lips touched. But when Foster gave no sign of stopping, of laughing it off as a joke, the tension bled out of me and I nearly melted into the touch. I allowed myself to enjoy it, the muscles in my back and shoulders going lax, nudging my face forward for more contact, more kissing, just...more.

Foster broke the kiss just long enough to drag in a breath, when I leaned forward for another one, barely letting him take in oxygen before our lips were slotted together again. Foster's hands started traveling of their own volition, skimming along the lines of my jaw. He cradled my ears in his fingers, tracing along the shell and up to the tip, and the sound it choked out of me went straight to my cock. He swallowed up the broken noise with a soft moan of his own, burrowing his fingers in my hair and pulling me closer.

I broke away to pull in a breath. I groaned and surged forward again, my hands fisting in his shirt as I sealed our lips together, lapping at the seam of Foster's mouth until I had no choice but to submit to the exploration. A hot, wet tongue curled into his mouth, hesitantly traced along the ridges of his mouth and then tangled itself with his. He moaned unreservedly, his senses spiraling. He shuddered and whimpered against the heat of my body.

We broke away from each other to breathe again, Foster's hands rhythmically fisting and then brushing soothingly through my hair, nuzzling his nose against my ear, panting wetly into my shoulder. "Shit, Gabriel..." he wheezed. "I- kiss- c'mere," he stuttered, angling my head down again.

I met him halfway, all the fight and uncertainty gone, replaced with a desperation that was fast leaving us both breathless. Open mouths sealed together again, lapping and suckling at each other's lips. I used my fisted hands in Foster's shirt to pull him even closer, and he let out a long, moan when it aligned our hips together, his erection pressing up against an answering hardness. He rolled his hips forward to feel it again. I was just as lost in the sensations as he was.

And all of the sudden I had a terrible flashback. Like REALLY TERRIBLE. Like no one should know about it EVER. Not even me.

...Foster was abruptly shoved away with so much force that his back hit the wall. "Fuck-" he swore, grappling for some way to keep his balance, feeling off-centered and lost without my warm body holding him close. "Gabriel...?"

I was trembling - shuddering - from head to toe, and the look in my eyes wasn't glazed over in pleasure so much as it was utterly petrified. "Gabriel?" he tried again, finding his balance and taking a step forward. "Gabriel, you okay?"

"Get out," came the soft whisper. I remained motionless aside from the words falling from my mouth and my hands clenching and unclenching in fists at my side. If he stayed I would most likely hurt him, and I didn't want that to happen.

"Gabriel, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just-"

"Get. Out." Foster was interrupted from his apology by a stabbing pain in his shoulder. I had grabbed him, turned him around, and tossed him out the door before he could even think. By the time he'd recovered from the momentum of being thrown outside, the door had already shut and locked behind him.

"Gabriel?" I stood there motionless. He knocked gently on the door. "Gabriel, please, let me back in?"

"I'm sorry." I whispered against the door. "I'm so so sorry."

"Gabriel, please let me back in." he said softly. "I'm sorry I freaked you out."

"I can't let you see me like this." I replied.


Gabriel.